My illness is hidden. This is what you don’t see. These are my bruises. This is my pain. If the layers of my skin were peeled back, this is what you would see. Lyme disease is no joke. The pain is hidden yet it is so real. It grinds into your joints, muscles, organs…anything it can latch onto. As I was deep in my treatment for chronic Lyme Disease, the pain was out of control. The spot of pain on my lower left back would bring me to my knees. Many nights were spent curled up in a ball on the hardwood floor.
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I recently had the opportunity to hear a fellow Lyme Warrior share her journey. Tears fell down my cheeks as she described the pain she has endured from Lyme Disease. She described the days that the pain became too much to even get out of bed. Or the times she needed assistance just to get to the bathroom. The grip is relentless as you grimace and fight through the pain.
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It is overwhelming to “look normal” yet feel like you are dying from the inside out. The pain of Lyme disease is hidden. It is a battle that many cannot understand, but those who have lived it can recall the nightmare in a heartbeat as a fellow warrior takes them back to that moment in time. I recall times in my battle when I had to to crawl to the bathroom as my body was not able to walk. It is humbling to have to ask for help. I would hide when the pain would take over.
These are my bruises. This is my pain.
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Today, I am proud to say I have overcome the years of excruciating pain that Lyme disease dumped on me. I still have some residual pain, although it is nothing compared to what I endured. When chronic pain is your everyday reality, you have no choice but to “pull it together”. When I was deep in my battle, I would push myself daily to attempt to get out of the house or even off the couch. Somedays I succeeded, others I failed. There were moments during my battle I truly felt like I was dying. This is a reality shared by too many chronic Lyme patients.
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Lyme disease changes you. It changed me. While the battle has been brutal, I have learned so much about perseverance and embracing life with GRIT and GRACE.
Dig deep.
Choose faith.
Choose joy.
Let your FAITH be bigger than your fears.
God’s plan for your life is greater than anything you could ever dream up. Trust that He has you wrapped tightly.
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While this image is not easy for me to share, I post it to remind everyone to be kind to the people you meet. You never know what battles they are facing.
Thank you to Sarah Jane Photography for helping me create this image of pain.
#livingwithgritandgrace #isurvived #mybruises #lymewarrior #Godsgotus
This is so beautifully written. You are such an inspiration to those of us still suffering. We find hope and the courage to push on with your words of inspiration. You are a beautiful person both inside and out.
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Thank you, Stef! It is a brutal battle, but one worth fighting! I am thankful for my village who pulled me through the years of misery.
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