Today marks exactly one year ago that I was whisked away to Florida for treatment from chronic Lyme disease. My immune system was shot. Chronic fatigue plagued my body. My days were filled with never ending pain and questions about my health with no answers.
Here I am exactly one year later. I am stronger, healthier, I have increased stamina, and for the most part, I can function like a “normal” person in society.
For the past three and a half days, I was able to attend a retreat weekend. While you might have visions of a peaceful, serene setting surrounded by relaxation, naps and a good book, this retreat was very much the opposite. It was a jam packed weekend full of worship, singing, dancing, learning, laughter, meeting new life-long friends, bad jokes, eating tons of food, and very little time to sleep.
While my treatment a year ago was successful and got my life back on track, I still have to pace the fun. If I don’t listen to the signs from my body to slow down, it will physically force me to lay down. For anyone, pushing your body to its limits is never a good idea. For a lyme patient, it’s a really, really bad idea! Lyme Disease has a way to stop you dead in your tracks. I often refer to it as my brick wall.
My brick wall found me this weekend. For three days, I pushed my body to the extreme. My days were packed full of activities and the very short nights offered little time to let my body rest on an air mattress in a room of 10 other women. For a girl who is a light sleeper and needs her space when she is tired, well…you get the picture! By the afternoon on day three, my brick wall hit me. Sitting in a conference room attempting to focus on the presenter, I fought the physical symptoms as hard as I could. I knew there were about 5 hours left of the weekend events but my body was done. I found a leader and she quickly escorted me away to a quiet room to rest. While I laid in the quiet room alone frustrated and defeated, I questioned God asking WHY? I was missing out on the fun all my new friends were having down the hallway. I was missing the opportunity of hearing words of wisdom from the leaders who had taken so much time preparing key presentations. I was missing out…or was I?
During the weekend retreat one of the presenters shared her journey of trials, tribulation and pain. Through her turmoil, it became very clear that God had a purpose for her pain. Over the past few years of my battle, God has certainly challenged me in many ways. He has also revealed to me a purpose for my journey and a purpose for my pain. While this battle for my health has been one of the most challenging things I have faced, I have learned so much from it. For the person reading this who is suffering, know that God has you wrapped tightly. Trust his plan. #Godsgotus #purposeinthepain #embracethejourney #holdonfortheride
2 thoughts on “The Good. The Bad. The Ugly.”
Thank you so much for sharing about your journey and about your 3 day weekend. I really can identify with you since our daughter, Jessica, has Chronic Lyme Disease also. I rejoice with you and praise God for your healing and being able to live a life with normalcy in it!! Hallelujah! And yes, all of us could learn the lesson of listening to what our bodies tell us we can and cannot do. God bless you as you continue on his healing journey.
Thank you, Berta! Lyme disease is a brutal illness. I’m blessed with an amazing support system who has helped me through and prayer warriors from across the world lifting me up. I am grateful for the journey as I have learned so many life lessons. I will continue to speak up for those who are deep in the battle and searching for help.